.:Wednesday, March 12, 2008:.
Muwahahaha
| Why females should avoid a girl's night out after they are married....If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humor. The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight , 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m. , a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!) The e next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... He didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted. Tehehehe. If we had a cuckoo clock, I could so see this happening in our house! Tehehehe. Well, except for the farting bit of course! My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big freaking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. Dumb ass. Are you listening guys?!?!?!?! And one more....you can all thank my wonderful sister in law Kim for these! HOW THE FIGHT STARTED I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car. . . and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . . . . . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and angrily says, " I'M NOT HAPPY!" So, I look down at him and say, 'Well, then which one are you?' That's when the fight started .................... |
